November rain

The last seven days have been the ugliest in recent memory.

Presidential elections are always emotionally charged. This one felt just feels different, though. President Obama’s election and re-election were emotional, but those elections went my way. I’ve supported (and defended) President Obama since the 2008 primaries, so it’s been a good eight-plus years for me. Maybe those who voted for our President-elect feel now what I felt in 2008 … and vice versa. I don’t really know.

What I do know is that politics have become pejorative. I’ve been called a liberal, with the same tone ex-girlfriends have called me a jerk, more times than I can accurately recall. The term libtard has been thrown at me on more than a few occasions. A couple weeks ago, I was called a cuck for the first time. I’m sure there are liberals who treat conservatives the same way, but these are the experiences I can report.

The battle lines have been drawn. Centrism is going the way of the dodo. Crossing the aisle, once seen as admirable and respectable, is now looked upon with disgust.

Blue and red used to come together to make purple. That’s also becoming a thing of the past, as nobody bothers to understand anyone anymore. People don’t listen – they just wait to speak their opinion, oftentimes stating their opinion as unimpeachable fact. The most important part of effective communication is listening (shut up, comm degree) but waiting to talk, or hearing out the other person so you can impose your opinion as superior, isn’t a form of effective listening.

Social media, and, more specifically, Facebook, has become the epicenter of this behavior. (I'm not the only one who feels this way: https://theringer.com/social-media-echo-chamber-2016-election-facebook-twitter-b433df38a4cb#.u18x56jwb) Users can post literally anything and sell it as factual news. Sources don’t matter, nor do the unabashed leaning of sites like Breitbart, Addicting Info, Patriot News, Dead State, or the myriad other decidedly biased sites. It is human nature for people to find information that supports their beliefs, but that shouldn’t excuse them from finding factual information that backs up their points of view. Screaming conflicting opinions at one another is a veritable pissing contest in which nobody wins.

I saw a good number of Facebook users claim liberals/Clinton supporters were being immature, overreacting and/or being sore losers because they were sad/hurt/upset/angry about the results of the Presidential election. Many of those users never bothered to ask why, never thought to ask for more information to paint a clearer picture of this sadness/anger/whatever. Those users appeared to feel the need to express their moral superiority, to let viewers of their timeline know that their way was the right way, and if you didn’t see it that way, you needed to get your priorities straightened out.

I can’t speak for everyone, but I can speak for me. So, if you’re one of those people who posted something like that last week, here’s the explanation you never asked for.

As a white male, my life isn’t going to be very difficult these next four years. I can still get married, I still have access to the health care I need, and I don’t have to worry about police violence or religious persecution because of how I look. But I am in the minority. When Donald Trump, champion of racism, divisiveness, xenophobia and misogyny, won the Electoral College last week, my thoughts didn’t immediately go to me.  They went to my gay friends, whose existing marriages are in jeopardy, and whose future marriages may not come to be in the next four years, because our President-elect sees their relationship as an ugly abomination instead of the beautiful relationship it really is. They went to my non-Christian friends, who will be ostracized even further, if recent events are any indication. They went to the Hispanic people in this country, who are not rapists and degenerates, as our President-elect has said, but integral members of our diverse American society. They went to the Muslim population in this country, who are subject to intense hatred and, now, a potential unequivocal ban because their religious practices are the same as a minute percentage of Muslims who have committed acts of terror in the name of Islam. (Spoiler alert: Plenty of Christians have killed in the name of God, too. The problem is extremism, not religion.)

We’re not upset because we didn’t get our way. We’re upset because a champion of racism, divisiveness, xenophobia and misogyny got his, and because our loved ones are going to pay the price.

Removing myself as an active member of the Facebook community was the first step in moving forward. I’ll be around every now and again – there’s a good chance you’ve found this page because of the link I posted on Facebook – but, for the foreseeable future, my Facebook page is a means of pimping my other blog (the link can be found to the right of this post) and remaining in contact with friends I do not regularly speak with.

The next step is writing this. I’ve always been better in front of a keyboard than I am in front of an physical audience.

So, how do I reconcile my frustrations with our society – the violence, the racism, the tribalism – with my desire to move forward, both as a person and as a citizen of a country I'm deeply disappointed with? I don’t know.

I do know that communication in our society appears to be broken. It’s not broken beyond repair, though. We need to listen – really, actually listen – to each other. We need to empathize. We need to be patient. We need to focus on our similarities instead of our differences. That goes for everyone: liberal, conservative, and everyone in between. It applies to me, and it applies to you.

My political posts won’t go away forever. When I believe strongly in a cause, I will tweet and hashtag it. When I’m upset by news I read, I will tweet and hashtag it. It’s a means of venting my feelings, and hoping to find someone out there who feels the same way.

There has been some good to come out of this election cycle. All the negative feelings I had built up led me to research and identify my place in the political world. I did this so I could properly support the candidates that will best represent me. I also did this so I could get out and volunteer for the right candidate(s). Bitching on Facebook or Twitter isn’t activism – it’s just bitching. I used to do it, and the last week helped me realize that doing so is like sitting in a rocking chair: It’s something to do, but it doesn’t get me anywhere.

Maybe becoming active instead of passive in the political arena is the first step for me to reconcile my feelings with the state of this country. I’m sure there’s plenty more to do, but the first step is the most important one.

And, hell ... if all else fails, we'll always have Joe Biden memes.